i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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