my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
