soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
