Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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