Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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