Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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