Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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