Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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