My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
