dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize