It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
