Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can you bring me the toilet please
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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