Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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