i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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