fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
