So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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