A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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