you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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