So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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