Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
