She announced her abortion via fbk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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