This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
