Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
