I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
