I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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