I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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