I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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