But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
