Ambien. No doubt about it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
