I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
