come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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