from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I did not marry a roomba.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
