Princesses don't give blow jobs
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
