God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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