Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
