I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
