direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
