There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
