She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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