is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
