the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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