He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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