I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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