My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
