I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
