Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize