I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
