Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
