I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
