Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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