She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you're hired as official boob wrangler
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
