His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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