How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
