Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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