WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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