Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
