I'm so fucking centered right now
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I will pee on everything he values.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The adults are the big ones right?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize