You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
