I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
