Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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