I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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