He is an equal opportunity slut.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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