Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
