so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize