thus making me awesome and them whores
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
