Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
