You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
