I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize