Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
