I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
